


Loss is Pain

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, canon character death, little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 14:24:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19336342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: "If something happens to me..look after Ellie, will you?"Nick snorted. "Nothing's gonna happen to you man."





	Loss is Pain

**Author's Note:**

> For the anon on Tumblr.

_Remembering._  
 _Forgetting._  
 _I'm not sure which is worse._  
 _ **\- Kelley Armstrong**_  
  
Silence filled the air in the apartment to where it was somehow almost deafening. Muffled sobs came from the closed bedroom door making the two males on the couch lower their heads. They both knew Ellie was trying her hardest to be quiet, but even if they didn't hear her, her pain practically radiated through the door.   
  
Nick's hands formed fists in his lap, clenching them so tightly that he could feel his nails digging into his skin. It was the only thing keeping him from breaking down her bedroom door and taking her into his arms. His friend was in so much pain, pain he felt to some degree so many years ago that he wouldn't wish on anyone.   
  
_"Don't you get it she's GONE!"_  
  
 _"Sofia wouldn't want you throwing your education away Nicholas, just because she's-"_  
  
 _"Go ahead mom, say it!" Anger radiated from him, his body shaking as it only built. "SHE'S DEAD!"_  
  
 _"Please Nicholas..this is your future we're talking about-"_  
  
 _"What future?!" He spat it out so viciously that his mom flinched. "Sofia was my future!"_  
  
 _"I know how much it hurts-"_  
  
 _"Don't act like you know how I'm feeling." Nick's voice turned dark. "Dad left you on his own free will."_  
  
 _Those harsh words hung between them. His mom turned and left, looking as if she no longer knew her son standing in front of her. Nick picked up his laptop and threw it at the opposite wall so hard the sound echoed almost painfully in his ears._  
  
"You alright Nick?"  
  
He blinked rapidly to get rid of the moisture in his eyes before looking at Reeves who had been sitting beside him. "I'm fine."  
  
"Think she changed her mind about us being here?" Reeves asked.   
  
Nick shook his head. "We shouldn't leave her anyway."  
  
"Agreed." Reeves eyed him carefully. "You know..you seem pretty upset too, considering you didn't seem to like Qasim all that much."  
  
His body tensed. "I liked Qasim just fine."  
  
"Hm sure. So it had nothing to do with you being jealous?"  
  
Nick scoffed, shaking his head. "You're crazy man."  
  
Reeves rolled his eyes. "Then what?"  
  
"This is all just..bringing back some past things."  
  
"I'm sorry mate. If you need to go-"  
  
He shrugged. "Bishop right now is more important."  
  
"Huh, who knew I'd agree with you twice in one day."  
  
"Shut up." Nick said with a light chuckle.   
  
Two hours later, Reeves watched them discreetly from where he was supposed to be setting up a movie. Nick's hand was softly rubbing her back, talking low in her ear while she stirred the spoon around in her mug of tea. Ellie was leaning into him, and for the first time in a while her face looked free from pain and stress. Neither of them seemed to be aware of their actions.   
  
Reeves smiled before going back to his job of starting the movie.  
  
When Ellie had fallen asleep between them, Reeves looked to see Nick staring at her with a soft look in his eyes, looking as if he was trying to figure something out.   
  
"Hey Nick?"  
  
Nick looked up sharply.   
  
"Do me a favor?"  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"If something happens to me..look after Ellie, will you?"  
  
Nick snorted. "Nothing's gonna happen to you man."  
  
"Just promise me."  
  
"You know I will."  
  
  
 _Gone._  
 _The saddest word in the language._  
 _In any language._  
 _ **\- Mark Slouka**_  
  
Those words repeated in his head a little over a year later.  
  
 _"If something happens to me..look after Ellie, will you?"_  
  
Reeves was dead.   
  
Nick closed his eyes tightly as he held a sobbing Ellie in his arms. This time there was no sitting outside her bedroom hearing her, this time he was in the closed bedroom with her. Their friend was gone.   
  
He tried so hard to block out the pain of the loss, but just like with Sofia it eventually broke through.   
  
He was only human.  
  
 _"Is it supposed to hurt this much?" Nick whispered, head resting on Lucia's lap as she ran her fingers gently through his short hair._  
  
 _"That's what love is." Lucia told him. "It can make you the happiest person in the world, but can cause some of the worst pain."_  
  
 _"Love sucks."_  
  
 _She weakly laughed. "It can, little brother, it can."_  
  
 _"I never wanna love someone again."_  
  
 _"I'm afraid we can never control who or when we fall in love."_  
  
 _"It hurts Luce."_  
  
 _Nick buried his face in her lap, his body shaking with his cries. Lucia cried herself seeing her little brother in so much pain as she murmured soothing words, letting him cry._  
  
Lucia had been right, you can't control who or when you fall in love. He certainly couldn't control falling in love with the crying blonde in his arms.   
  
"Don't let go." Ellie's words were muffled against his shirt.   
  
"Never B, never."  
  
 _I promise Reeves, I'll try my damn hardest to look after her._ Nick thought to himself when she finally stopped crying and looked up at him.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
He smiled and tucked some hair behind her ear. "Promise."


End file.
